I’ve read lots of blogs and articles on what NOT to ask and/or say to a mom expecting twins but I’m pretty sure that people just ask or say whatever they can to keep conversation going.
There’s a good chance that all people ever know to talk to them about is:
- their cousin’s friend’s sister’s twins (or some similar situation)
- whether twins run in the family
- my favorite inappropriate question- were you using fertility drugs?- or something similarly intrusive
- and my favorite offensive question, asked mostly by men trying to make a joke- are you sure there’s only two in there?
Obviously, this not an all-inclusive list of things twin mommies-to-be are asked but you get the idea.
So here’s some ideas for the next time you talk to your future twin mommy:
- How are you feeling? (Do NOT say it in a sympathetic tone or make a face that makes them think they look miserable)
- How is (insert other child/children’s name(s) here)?
- Is (insert other child/children’s name(s) here) excited to be a big brother/sister?
- Do you have the nursery ready? (Unless you know that may be a sensitive topic)
- What is your favorite thing you’ve bought for the babies so far?
- Can I get you something to drink?
- Can I get you a seat? Or offer a seat.
- Tell her she looks nice. (Only if you can tell she feels like she looks nice. If unsure, just stay away from that.)
- Ask anything non-baby related, such as: work (unless it’s to ask if she’s going back to work after the baby), family, friends, the latest tv show or movie.
I’m just throwing some extra ideas out there for folks who know someone who is expecting two (or even more).
I know that before I got pregnant with two I probably asked my friends with twins a million questions that they’d been asked over and over again. Sorry for that, ladies!
People are curious. It’s natural. And if you’re the one being asked, the feeling is a cross between annoying and hilarious because it’s so predictable. But now, my friends, you are prepared to ask the questions that everyone forgets to ask. Go forth and be supportive to the twin mommy-to-be in your life.
What other topics of discussion do you have?
Find out more about how I survived my twin pregnancy: 8 Things that Helped Me Survive a Twin Pregnancy.